Poynter.org - Jim Romenesko's Media News House & Garden editor-in-chief calls in a feng shui expert
New York mag's "Intelligencer" column suggests the call was made after an editorial exodus, but H&G editor-in-chief Dominique Browning says: "I believe in feng shui. It's like having your car tuned, and you need regular checkups."


sacbee: Cal Report MTV apologizes after teens sue

SANTA MONICA (AP) -- MTV apologized Thursday to two 14-year-old girls who said they were splattered with feces when an act defecated on stage during a taping of the music channel's "Dude, This Sucks" show.

"This is a terrible incident. It was unintended and we regret that it happened," Brian Graden, the cable channel's president for programming, said in a statement.

He added that the episode would never be aired and that he had taken steps to see that such an event never happens again.

"We are sorry if these women were hurt. It is certainly never our intention to hurt anyone," he said.

Graden said the network had just learned that the girls are suing MTV, adding that the company "will respond accordingly through the legal process."

The teen-agers said they were standing next to a stage on Jan. 21 at the Snow Summit Ski Resort in the San Bernardino Mountains east of Los Angeles, watching a two-man act called Shower Rangers during videotaping of a "Snowed In" segment of the MTV show.

"Without warning or explanation the two Shower Rangers turned their backsides to the audience, both opened a flap on the back of their shorts, exposing their naked buttocks," the girls' attorney Gloria Allred said.

"Before they could say or do anything, the Shower Ranger whose buttocks faced them bent over, spread the cheeks of his buttocks and emitted a spray of fecal matter," the lawyer said.

Monique Garcia and Kelli Sloat of Big Bear Lake are seeking unspecified general, compensatory and punitive damages, claiming intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligence and battery.

"All of a sudden I was smelling something disgusting and I started to gag. I looked around at my friends. They were covered in something. As I looked down at myself, I realized I was, too," Garcia said during a news conference at Allred's office.

"We believe that subjecting children without their knowledge and consent and without notice to their parents to such an outrageous and indecent act is completely unacceptable and intolerable," Allred said.

The teen-agers "want to send a message that this type of act goes far beyond the bounds of decency and that neither MTV nor any television network should ever allow any similar disgusting incident to take place in
Swiss inventions fair looks for the next Edison One of the hits at this year's show is ``The Rat Pack.''

Irish retiree Michael Lynch claims his device gets rid of mice, rats or other rodents quickly -- and is a ready made coffin into the bargain.

``Poison kills a rat slowly, and can harm other animals,'' said inventions promoter Nicole Field of Cork, Ireland, who is Lynch's pitchman in Geneva. ``Glue traps are popular, but they are pretty inhumane -- the rat's feet get stuck and it usually tries to gnaw them off to escape.''

The Rat Pack is just a cardboard tube with a pocket of viscous fluid which suffocates the inquisitive animal when it bites into it. The dead rat remains encased in the tube.

``All the squeamish need do is bury the tube and rat together -- it's 100 percent biodegradable,'' said Field.



Transcript of Ventura-Anderson meeting

Ventura: I just threw him out there for practical purposes. 'Cause he testified against me once and said I didn't know anything about hunting or fishing. All right, I've owned a lake cabin for 44 years. My parents, and now I, own it; they're gone. Second of all, when it comes to hunting -- I got your resume. You ever done military service?

Anderson: You have my resume?

Ventura: Yeah, I got your file. You ever done military service?

Anderson: No.

Ventura: You haven't? Well, Commissioner Garber and I have. He has two tours to Vietnam and I have one as a Navy SEAL and then 17 months in Southeast Asia and I'll just tell you this: Until you hunted man, you haven't hunted yet. Because you need to hunt something that can shoot back at you to really classify yourself as a hunter. You need to understand the feeling of what it's like to go into the field and know that your opposition can take you out. Not just go out there and shoot Bambi. Or go out into the field and shoot pheasants and things like that."

Or critics or things like that.


TNR Online | Dull and Duller by Michael Crowley Later that day I accompany Clinton, who is returning from a press conference where senators criticized George W. Bush's decision to repeal regulations limiting arsenic in drinking water, through a Capitol basement corridor. Trailed by Secret Service agents and gawking tourists, she sports her standard-issue black pantsuit, a blue shirt, and a formidable hairdo that has been resuscitated after a brief, well-publicized period of neglect. Referring to the morning's debt hearing, I ask how she survives the torpor. "I think it's so serious that I'm fixated," she explains in her okeydoke, elementary-school-teacher voice. "I think it's fun.... I love talking about a fifty or ten [parts per billion] level of arsenic, or what is the level of irreducible debt. For me these things have real meaning."
Police Under Fire for Offensive E-Mail [Free Republic]
Police Under Fire for Offensive E-Mail

Government News
Source: Reuters via DailyNews.Yahoo.com
Published: 03/29/2001 Author: Reuters, Claire Soares
Posted on 03/29/2001 09:22:29 PST by GeekDejure

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - An embarrassed Washington police force vowed on Wednesday to sniff out officers responsible for sending hundreds of racist, homophobic and vulgar text messages over their patrol car communication system.

Terrance Gainer, assistant chief of police for the District of Columbia, told Reuters about 10 percent of the 3,600-member force were thought to be involved and the department had launched an investigation. The messages were uncovered during a routine analysis of the computerized system.

``We are shocked and dismayed. I would have thought in the year 2001 that maybe we had gotten past some of these issues ... Whether it's vulgar, ignorant, racist or criminal, we condemn it,'' he said in a telephone interview. The patrol car computer system was set up to give policemen a portable means of checking databases and coordinating with other officers in the area.

Of the 4 million text messages sent during a year, 75 percent were clearly related to work checks, Gainer said. The remainder were used for permitted private inter-car communication, but several hundred of those were deemed offensive. ``Vulgar terms like the F-word and any derivation you could possibly think of, other words were homophobic, there was a lot of sexual banter,'' Gainer said, describing the messages.

Racist comments flew between all ethnic combinations.

``There was a large group of messages that used racial terms like the N-word ... (but) it was diverse racism, pejorative comments from black to black, white to white, white to brown, brown to black,'' Gainer said.
Death is a Master from Germany (Death Art) [Free Republic] Death is a Master from Germany (Death Art)

Culture/Society News Keywords: GERMAN DEATH ART
Source: BBC Internet
Published: March 29, 2001
Posted on 03/29/2001 13:06:05 PST by jshankles

Row over Siberian body exports

Novosibirsk residents are outraged that body parts may be used in the exhibition

Russian television has highlighted what it says is a major scandal that is brewing between Moscow and Berlin over the export of dead bodies to a German scientist. The scientist, Dr Gunther von Hagens, in the German city of Heidelberg, uses a special technique for preserving bodies in a lifelike way.

Russian NTV television said people in the Siberian city of Novosibirsk were outraged at reports that a consignment of 56 corpses had been sent to Dr Hagens's institute.

Dr Hagen insists his work is necessary for science

An exhibition called K?rperwelten (Bodyworld) - with more than 200 anatomical exhibits made from the preserved bodies of dead human beings - is currently running in Berlin.

NTV said recent headlines in the German press such as "Bodies stolen in Siberia" and "Where does Herr Frankenstein get his material?" had caused a stir.

It said customs declarations showed that the consignment had been sent from the Medical Academy in Novosibirsk to Dr Hagens's Institute in Heidelberg.

There was nothing to suggest that the bodies would not be displayed in the exhibition.


Dr Hagens told NTV that the bodies had indeed arrived in Heidelberg and had been sent on to China where the main preparation takes place.

The plastinates convey the illusion of animated beings, and thus a holistic, emotional anatomy


The television said Dr Hagens insists that his work is necessary for science and that he says he always gets permission of the subjects while they are alive.

NTV quoted the rector of the Medical Academy in Novosibirsk as saying the bodies were of former prisoners, the homeless and abandoned old men, but every body had been accounted for.


Dr Hagens said the rector himself should sort out the scandal. "After all his signature is on the contract."

The exhibition's website says the exhibits try to convey an awareness of health and a better understanding of bodily functions by offering visible "entertainment anatomy" instead of school anatomy

NTV says one exhibit has a tatoo of a Russian Orthodox cross

It says "Edutainment", a combination of education and entertainment, "conveys the vulnerability and transience of our corporeality.

"In life-like poses the gestalt plastinates convey the illusion of animated beings, and thus a holistic, emotional anatomy," it says.

Dr Hagens told NTV he was planning to organise a programme in Russia for people who wanted to donate their bodies.

But the television correspondent said it looked as though he had already begun.

One body on display at the exhibition had a clearly visible tatoo of a Russian Orthodox cross and the traditional Russian wording "I won't forget you", he said.
Denise Rich's Daughter Puts on Freak Show-NY Society backs off from "Peg Bundy of 5th Avenue" [Free Republic] Denise Rich's Daughter Puts on Freak Show-NY Society backs off from "Peg Bundy of 5th Avenue"

Source: FOX News
Published: 3/29/01 Author: Roger Friedman
Posted on 03/29/2001 13:07:14 PST by the runner

Last night's fashion show by Denise Rich's daughter Ilona was a wash-out, accordign to sources.The show, which was supposed to be Ilona Malka's debut, did not draw any of Rich's old celebrity friends from before the Pardongate scandal.

The clothes didn't get very high marks either.

"It seemed like a mental patient escaped and designed a line of clothes," said one observer."Long dresses from the 19th century made with corduroy and pictures with little starts, very freaky."

Local society teens Paris and Nikki Hilton were among those who modeled the outfits, but the show did not draw anyone but low-level society types.

"It was all losers," said a source."I didn't recognize anyone."

Ilona Malka is among the many members of Denise Rich's extended family who donated money to the political campaigns of Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, Rudy Guilani, and the Democratic National Committee.

For Denise the timing could not have been worse. The United States Attorney's Office in New York is still invesitgating her role in Pardongate.

During her reign as the Peg Bundy of Fifth Avenue, Denise hosted doxens of wildly expensive parties that drew all kinds of A-list names like Barbara Walters and Larry King. There is nothing worse in high class New Yok City social circles than being a social pariah.
Explicit Sex-Ed Material Prompts Outcry in Scotland [Free Republic] Explicit Sex-Ed Material Prompts Outcry in Scotland

Source: CNSNews.com
Published: March 29, 2001 Author: Patrick Goodenough, CNS London Bureau
Posted on 03/29/2001 13:15:34 PST by Stand Watch Listen

London (CNSNews.com) - Religious and family groups Thursday decried the promotion of sex education material in Scotland that says children as young as 11 should be encouraged to discuss such activities as sado-masochism, anal sex, partner-swapping and group sex.
Pupils aged 11-14 are encouraged to role-play various characters, including young homosexuals and lesbians.
Teachers of those pupils are told to advise boys to try on a condom "the next time they masturbate" and to buy condoms from a store as a homework assignment.

When it comes to gag- inducing journalistic self-absorption, we figured that Vanity Fair set the gold standard when it included its own associate fashion editor, Patricia Herrera, in its fashion spread on "It" girls in last year’s September issue. (W ran a close second with its14pagesof male journalists, including the likes of Kurt Andersen and Joel Stein, dolled up in Hugo Boss and Ralph Lauren.) But we were wrong. When Rolling Stone’s April 12 issue–the special "What’s Cool Now" issue, with the moon-faced Julia Stiles on the cover–recently landed on our desk, a new self-promotional standard had been set.

Inside the issue was an eight-page fashion feature, RStyle: The Family Stone, which, in addition to hawking clothes, gave 20 of the magazine’s … staffers a chance "to show you their faces and let them tell you their stories."

And let us just say: Them Rolling Stoners are lookers! The photos, shot by chief photographer Mark Seliger, show the magazine’s staff looking appropriately rock-crit affected in swank Manhattan joints like Pastis and Ciel Rouge. Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner must be dishing out the raises again, because associate designer Lee Berresford apparently prefers a $998 Armani coat for her nights in the meatpacking district, and researcher David Malley keeps a $795 Hugh Boss leather jacket in his closet.

"I think our young staffers are gods and goddesses!" said a proud Bob Love, Rolling Stone’s managing editor (featured on page 133). "The three chicks from the art department [page 129]–they look beautiful!"

But when it came to taking credit for the section, Mr. Love–perhaps fearful of sleepless nights being stalked by the angry T-shirt wearing ghost of Lester Bangs–was very clear. "It was Jann’s idea," he said.

Mr. Love was also at pains to point out that the staff fashion shoot was by no means supposed be a part of the "What’s Cool Now" package. "We deliberately left it out of the ‘Cool’ section," he said. "I wanted to call it ‘Almost Cool.’"

Staffers at cross-town rival Spin were, to put it mildly, amused. "We’re all still shocked; we’re still trying to pick up the pieces," said Spin editor in chief Alan Light. "Our hearts go out to all their families."
The New York Observer One of the Nightline interviewees was Rudy Camacho, the affable field-operations director for U.S. Customs. In an exchange that aired the fourth night of the series, Mr. Koppel asked Mr. Camacho if we should assume that many of our own politicians have been "bought" by drug cartels.

Mr. Camacho replied: "Well, that?s certainly a political statement that, that you?re making there?-"

"Yes, I am," Mr. Koppel said.

"?-concerning politicians," Mr. Camacho continued. "And I?m concerned about the operational level. How do we maximize?-"

Mr. Koppel interrupted: "First, first time, first time I?ve heard you stutter all morning long, Rudy."

Mr. Camacho nimbly advanced. "How do you, how do we maximize the operational effectiveness of what we?re doing? This is all we have to work with. Our resources are finite. It is our responsibility to use those resources in an interdiction format that provides the best results."

At that point, Mr. Koppel fixed Mr. Camacho with the stern glare that has made everyone from Jim Bakker to Bill Gates quake in their loafers.

"That?s a bullshit answer," he said. "You haven?t given me an answer, Rudy."
The Mirror

Plague cull turns nation off meat

MORE than 1.5million people have turned vegetarian since the foot-and-mouth plague began five weeks ago.

Shocked by the culling of 400,000 animals and the sight of funeral pyres, another 20million are considering giving up meat.
Thursday,March 29,2001


Allegedly paid secret 450G.
The mother of Jesse Jackson's love child is penning a tell-all book that claims she received a secret payoff of $450,000 from the civil-rights leader, a new report says.

Ex-mistress Karin Stanford also reveals that to prove Jackson was the father of her 22-month-old daughter, she froze a condom containing his sperm, the National Enquirer says in its upcoming issue.



Female teacher accused of sex with 13-year-old .

A 24-year-old female teaching intern at an elementary school has been arrested for allegedly performing a sex act on a 13-year-old pupil while his 14-year-old friend watched.

A 24-year-old female teaching intern at an elementary school has been arrested for allegedly performing a sex act on a 13-year-old pupil while his 14-year-old friend watched.

Police said Shannon Jones, who taught at Levering Elementary, performed the act on the seventh-grader after school hours on Feb. 15. It happened in her car in a deserted parking lot near the school, according to police.

The 14-year-old boy reported the incident to a school security official two weeks later, authorities said.

School officials immediately removed the intern from the school and alerted police, said Alexis Moore, a spokeswoman for the School District of Philadelphia.

Jones, who had no criminal record, was transferred to non-teaching duties in another school while the investigation was in progress. She was arrested Tuesday afternoon.

Jones was charged with involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, statutory sexual assault and other charges. She was in police custody and could not be reached for comment. Court officials did not know if she had an attorney.

If that was the midterm, what will the final be like?



The down side of bestiality? "Usually fatal to the hen..."

Animal husbandry? -- The Washington Times

by Debra Saunders

Peter Singer, whose opposition to "speciesism" made him the father of the modern animal-rights movement, is once again in the thick of controversy. Readers may remember Mr. Singer because publisher Steve Forbes withdrew financial support from Princeton when the university gave Mr. Singer an ethics professorship. Mr. Singer, you see, advocates killing disabled babies because babies are not yet "persons."

Now, Mr. Singer has written an article called "Heavy Petting" for a pornographic Web site in which he defends bestiality. You could say Mr. Singer's take on animal rights is: You can have sex with them, but don't eat them.

How does PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, feel about its ideological father endorsing six-legged sex? PETA president, Ingrid Newkirk, said of the piece, "It's daring and honest, and it does not do what some people read into it, which is condone any violent acts involving an animal, sexual or otherwise." Miss Newkirk wants America to know Mr. Singer does not advocate sex that kills or damages animals or requires them to be restrained. Indeed, Mr. Singer condemns sex between men and hens because it is "usually fatal to the hen."

But can an animal consent to sex?

Miss Newkirk answered, "It sounds like this is an attempt to make this so narrow and so unintellectual in its focus. You know, Peter Singer is an intellectual, and he looks at all nuances of an issue. The whole concept of consent with animals is very different."

We agree that animals don't really how to use the word "No" as a functional part of the conversation.


AlterNet -- Viagra Helps Kids Party Hard-y

Chris Harris, Hartford Advocate
March 20, 2001

Sildenafil citrate, otherwise known as Viagra, isn't just for Grandpa Joe anymore. It seems the Bob Dole-endorsed love drug is now growing in popularity with beer-guzzling college students and rollin' ravers, all looking to party hard-y, all night long.

It's true. Thanks to the Internet, prescription-free access to the wonder drug that does wonders (increasing blood flow to the penis) is easy. All you need is a credit card and half-a-brain.

Most online pharmacies ask potential Viagra customers to complete a lengthy medical history questionnaire. Once filled out, it's reviewed by one of a number of on-call doctors, employed by the dot-com on the side to issue prescriptions -- this is what is called an online consultation.

The online form includes basic medical (Do you take any form of nitroglycerin?), personal (When were you born?), and highly personal questions (Please explain the specific reason for ordering Viagra.). So long as you lie, claiming to be a man over the age of 50 with erectile dysfunction, it's cake.

The pills are available in 100mg form, in bottles of 30, 60, and 90. For 90 pills, you'll pay anywhere between $825 and $990 -- the going rate in most pharmacies for uninsured patrons. But for street dealers, $990 is nothing -- selling pills at a modest rate of $20 apiece would result in an $810 profit. Dealer prices vary according to location. In New York, Viagra's going street rate is $25 a pill, a police source there says.

The origins of Viagra-as-a-recreational-drug began in England in 1998, where, within weeks of becoming available in that country, it was being sold illicitly in London nightclubs. Now, the Viagra-chompin' craze has crossed the pond, where it's an illegal staple in the club circuit. Viagra, known casually as "Poke" in some raver circles, is usually taken with ecstasy. Club-goers claim the combination creates an enhanced "sextasy" effect, whereas taking ecstasy alone usually quells libido, and, in general, makes it difficult for one to wake the clown.

Reports of use among ravers are startling, for one simple and often lethal reason. Many of them report combining Viagra with rush or poppers; vials of amyl nitrate or isobutyl nitrate -- basically, VCR head cleaning solution -- inhaled as an aphrodisiac. Both drugs dilate blood vessels, which can result in a dangerous drop in blood pressure, potentially causing heart attack or stroke.

Binge-drinking college students are also popping the little triangular impotence-pill-that-could to counter the limping effects of excessive beer consumption. Viagra provides at least four hours, occasionally as many as six, of rigidness, meaning the stunting effects of the alcohol will have little influence on arousal. In essence, one could take Viagra, drink, pass out, and still perform.

There's another reason why teens and college students are exploiting the little blue miracle pill, and it has everything to with performance. Physiologically, men, after climax, experience a refractory period that lasts anywhere from five to 10 minutes. It's during this phenomenon that the engorged penis becomes flaccid. On Viagra, men can maintain a solid erection through repeated sexual encounters. Theoretically, a man on Viagra, even after ejaculation, can just keep on at it.

There's only one problem, aside from the documented medical side effects associated with use of the stiffening agent among younger men (doctors warn that the unusual exertion of all-nighters could precipitate a fatal silent blockage in the heart vessels; urologist warn that prolonged arousal could lead to future psychogenic impotence); once you're up, it takes a while before you can come down.

"We condemn it," says Pfizer, Inc., spokesman Geoff Cook, of use among males not experiencing genuine erectile dysfunction. Cook says Pfizer vehemently objects to sale of the drug over the Internet, and advises anyone who would like to try the drug to seek medical advice prior to use.

Cook warns Viagra is a drug that treats millions of men daily for a very embarrassing problem -- it's not an aphrodisiac and does not improve sexual performance. Officer Johnson may stand at attention longer, but that doesn't mean he'll salute any better.



TicketLIVE - Push-up Foods: Portability makes fast food faster - Food - September 28, 2000

By William Loeffler


Television's Homer Simpson eats a product called Nuts n' Gum, whose package proclaims "Together at Last!" In the movie "The Jerk," Steve Martin noshed on Pizza-in-a-Cup.

But are you ready for macaroni and cheese that you can eat like an ice cream cone? Move over Stouffers: Come this Friday, IncrEdibles will pop up in the frozen food section of your local supermarket.

Forget DNA decoding and broadband fiber optics. The 21st century has arrived in the form of these "revolutionary" portable foods from Breakaway Foods of Columbus, Ohio. With the help of Pittsburgh ad agency Blattner Brunner, the company has begun marketing six "portable entrees" including scrambled eggs and sausage and "Chili Mac," which come in

8-ounce cardboard tubes and sell from $2.99 to $3.49 for a twin pack.

Thaw the cylinder, puncture the top, microwave for about one minute, then insert the stick into the bottom of the tube and "Push n' Eat."

If it's a little like eating an omelet through a really big straw, well, that's part of the beauty of it, according to IncrEdibles inventor Robert Berman, a former vice president with Heinz USA who stuck some pasta in a tube and called it macaroni.


Divorce pits ŒRules¹ against reality

IT IS SUBTITLED "Time-Tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work." But there is a problem. One of the co-authors is getting divorced.

Now AOL Time Warner Inc.'s publishing unit, Warner Books, which is planning to print at least 100,000 copies of "Rules III," has a marketing puzzle on its hands: how to sell a how-to book on wedded bliss co-written by a woman whose marriage is kaput.

How to sell it is probably another of those 'time-tested' secrets.



Tremble, Coca-Cola, tremble
Mar 22nd 2001 | LITTLE ROCK

SOMETHING strange has been happening in Little Rock. Women from around the South have been descending on Arkansas?s state capital and making their way to the Wycoff Coffee House. The reason is Niagara?a blue fizzy Swedish tonic, for which the Wycoff?s owner, Lari Williams, is the sole American distributor. After two weeks without a shipment, 1,000 bottles of the potion arrived in Little Rock on Monday morning. By noon, fewer than 500 remained. By Tuesday lunchtime, it had all gone.

It is not unusual for Mrs Williams to find a line of frenzied Southern belles lined up outside the glass door of the Wycoff to buy the herbal drink. But demand has spread well beyond modern-day Scarlett O?Haras. Women from all over America have jammed the coffee house?s phone lines begging for the six-ounce bottles of blue. One man rings from Florida, offering Mrs Williams $1,000 for a bottle, which normally sells for $4.50. Another customer drives three hours to find a Niagara-less coffee house. Both are placed on the list of orders for the next shipment.

Niagara?s marketing pitch is simple: ?Romance in a bottle?. The drink, made with South American herbs, reportedly possesses an erotic recipe to make women?s?and some men?s?libidos soar to new heights. Most of Mrs Williams?s callers claim to have evidence that this is true. Certainly word of mouth is driving her business?and Niagara is beginning to appear on southern radio stations. Next week, Mrs Williams is expecting a shipment of 300,000 bottles, to be sold at her own coffee house and through other stores; and she expects to raise her order to 600,000 a month as demand spreads.

Niagara, which is made by Nordic Drinks in Stockholm, has not been particularly successful in Europe. Mrs Williams and her husband, Roger, discovered the drink in Texas, where it was also not doing well. The ladies of Little Rock, though, have lapped up the sixpack of love -- just as Mrs Williams expected.

Even leaving aside the exploits of any former residents named Bill, Arkansas?s state capital has always had a slightly steamy side. It is the home of Swinger magazine, and also one of the top markets for sex toys in the country. But there are standards to be set.

Just as religious types never say hello to each other in liquor shops, some Arkansans like to avoid eye contact as they pick up their Niagara. One Little Rock socialite orders a cappuccino, whilst giving Mrs Williams a discreet wink. Two bottles of the love potion are put down at her table in a plain brown shopping bag.


People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants convicted Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh to eat a vegetarian last meal. According to MSNBC, PETA wrote to the federal penitentiary in Indiana where McVeigh is scheduled to be executed, imploring the warden, ''Please don't let Timothy McVeigh be responsible for the death of even one more living being ... At the very least, Mr. McVeigh's last meal, on May 16, should not involve bloodshed and the slaughter of an unwilling victim.'' The warden tells MSNBC, ''We are certainly sensitive to the efforts of PETA, and we do offer a vegetarian meal plan ... But we do not force inmates to choose one meal or the other. In this case, the protocol would be that (McVeigh) could chose his last meal.''


Mick Jagger has allowed the boyfriend of his 17-year-old daughter to move in with her, reports the Sun. A friend of the Rolling Stones frontman suggests Jagger may not be too strict on Elizabeth and her beau, Calvin Klein model Damien van Zyl: ''Her dad is hardly a role model when it comes to sex -- he's not the kind of father who can claim to be naive in these matters.'' Career-wise, Jagger has opposed his daughter's recent move into modeling; while ex-wife Jerry Hall, herself a model, isn't quite as concerned: ''He wants Elizabeth to concentrate on her schoolwork, but I tell him almost every schoolgirl wants to be a model.''

When he's not chaperoning his daughter, Mick Jagger is hitting the bottle; the singer tells London's Sunday Telegraph: ''I'm getting used to being single. I spend most nights cuddled up to my hot-water bottle -- I've got a cashmere Burberry cover for it. I'm not going to get married again'' (MSNBC).?


Operation Clambake and ronthenut.org present: Ron the Scientist Science vs. Scientology

A number of Scientologists have posted claims defending Scientology as "true for them" and otherwise compared it favorably to science and the scientific method.

This seems reasonable, so let us put Scientology method and scientific method side by side and examine them comparatively, to see what emerges from this fair and even-handed approach.

Scientific Method:

One first observes some aspect of the universe, then invents a tentative explanation, or hypothesis, which is consistent with the observed phenomenon. Then one makes a testable prediction based on the hypothesis, and constructs an experiment which will determine whether the prediction is accurate. Then, if the prediction is not borne out by the experimental evidence, one either modifies or throws out the working hypothesis and continues doing so until the predictions of the hypothesis match experimental results. For verification of the results, when a hypothesis appears to describe the observed phenomena accurately, have others perform experiments of a similar nature or attack the hypothesis from any number of angles, points of view and methodologies until the hypothesis is found wanting, or found to be workable. Continue this for generations, always honing and fine-tuning the working hypotheses until you arrive at theories which explain and predict the world's events in a manner consistent with repeated experimentation and attempted falsification.

This is of course foolishness. The Scientologist claims to have a superior method. Let us examine in an unbiased and objective manner this proposed superior method.

Scientology Method:

First, take a drunken, drug-addled madman. Then, add a double-fistfull of various amphetamines, barbiturates, opiates and other drugs. Pour a bottle of rum down his throat and shake, not stir. Then sit said drunken, drug-addled madman in the throes of amphetamine psychosis down at a manual keyboard and have him pound out reams of bizarre gibberish.

Then charge thousands of dollars to show it to people who sign an agreement beforehand that says they won't sue if they go insane or develop the blind staggers from applying the material in the now-profitable drug-frenzied ravings.

If anyone disagrees, call them at three in the morning and then hang up when they answer for the next twenty- five years. Alternately, leave a dead cat on their front porch.

If experimental results do not verify the hypotheses of the crazed, drunken lunatic, report to Ethics immediately, you psych-indoctrinated pea brain mental midget!
Disney boss Michael Eisner has come up with his own answer to the Napster problem: lock ?em up.

During a panel on copyrights with ex-BMG boss Strauss Zelnick and Judge Zoe Baird, Esiner said prosecutors should go after kids who download copyrighted movies and music off the Internet without paying.

The Chief Mouseketeer quoted Abraham Lincoln on the importance of property rights and said kids need to be taught that it's the same as stealing a car or jewelry.


Salon.com News | Russian 'Playboy' editor shot Russian 'Playboy' editor shot

- - - - - - - - - - - -

March 15, 2001 | MOSCOW (AP) --

The editor of the Russian edition of Playboy was shot and seriously wounded in an attack near his office, the magazine's parent company said Thursday.

Print story

E-mail story


Maxim Maslakov was shot in the lower back by an unknown attacker at about 10 p.m. Wednesday outside the magazine's offices in northwest Moscow, said Yelena Myasnikova, a director of Independent Media, which publishes Playboy in Russia.

She said company officials did not know what the motive was or whether the attack was actually meant for Maslakov, who worked at a chain of boutiques before becoming Playboy's editor about a year ago.

Attacks on journalists are frequent in Russia. The Paris-based World Association of Newspapers has called Russia the world's second most dangerous country for journalists, following Colombia, and says six journalists were killed last year in Russia.

Wednesday's attack was the second this year on a journalist from Independent Media, which publishes glossy magazines, the English-language newspaper The Moscow Times and the business daily Vedomosti. In January, a Vedomosti reporter was stabbed nine times but survived. Myasnikova said she doubted the two attacks were related.

Maslakov was in serious but not life-threatening condition after losing a large amount of blood from the injury, Myasnikova said.


IndustryClick Nevertheless, it seemed Primedia won the popular vote as front runner Tuesday, with its newly formed Media Central unit, which owns this newsletter and is run by part-owner Steven Brill. "Primedia is a big possibility because Steve Brill likes Inside.com and because he will get a great deal on it," said one industry executive close to the deal. "I bet Media Central could acquire Powerful Media with $5 to $10 million down and a two-year buyout. The whole deal could go for up to $20 or $30 million."



Melee Erupts At Affirmative Action Rally

Melee Erupts At Affirmative Action Rally

Staff and News Services ? Thursday, March 8, 2001


A rally for affirmative action at the University of California turned ugly in Berkeley this morning, when a fight broke out among protesters and about 100 high school students looted a Telegraph Avenue shoe store, authorities said.

A young man, identified only as a UC Berkeley student, was severely injured and was taken to Alta Bates hospital for treatment. His condition was unknown by early afternoon.

About 2,000 young people, many of them high school students, converged on Berkeley for a noontime rally in support of a return to affirmative action programs.

After some of the speeches began at the gate to the UC Berkeley campus, a group of students ran into and started looting an Athlete's Foot shoe store on Telegraph.
Just when you thought the drug war couldn't get any worse, along comes Joseph Califano in today's Washington Post homing in on "addiction" as the problem - including addiction to alcohol and nicotine. Our drug policy should not be scaled back, Califano urges, but expanded to hammer even further the alcohol and tobacco companies, force miscreants into government re-education camps to stop using drugs, make drunkenness punishable by law, and on and on. "Prevention, education and media campaigns should target alcohol and tobacco as aggressively as illegal drugs," Califano avers. "Congressional restrictions that confine the White House drug policy director to illegal drugs should be lifted." Next up will be class action lawsuits against liquor companies. Help! They've taken away our joints and our pills. Now they want our beer and our cigarettes. Califano won't be happy till we're all sitting upright in school like miniature Johnny Ashcrofts, indoctrinated against pleasure by our government - and all for our own good. The piece has the usual canards, including the typical hooey about this being "about our kids." Remember: the drug warriors are just using kids for practice. What they really want is your Makers Mark. I guess we should be grateful to Califano for admitting it.


NYToday n the contest for the shortest, Thom Gunn, at 49 letters, clocks in just under Mr. Brodsky, at 52.

(Mr. Gunn's poem, called "Jamesian," could well be describing that annoying couple right across the train from you:

Their relationship consisted
In discussing if it existed.)

From the piles of poetry that Mr. Neches has burrowed through in nine years, he still remembers one from a poet named Mitchell Sacks. The poem was not only short enough, by far, but it contained a kind of stark beauty that stuck with him.

Unfortunately, Mr. Sacks was just a messenger for New York City Transit, with no published poetry to his name. He knew his verse would never make it past the turnstiles. But he gave it to Mr. Neches anyway, just to know someone would read it.

It said:

I once read a story about Edgar Allan Poe
I just thought you'd like to know.

Box office bucks up as admissions fall

Jack Valenti, the silver-tongued president of the Motion Picture Assn. of America (MPAA), also suggested moviegoing enthusiasm remains high among the American public.

``We have proven ourselves resistant to the furious daily challenges mounted against us by other media,'' Valenti told 3,000-plus ShoWest attendees. ``We are still robust and hardy.''



Pipes Show Cocaine Smoked in Shakespeare's England March 1, 2001

Pipes Show Cocaine Smoked in Shakespeare's England


Filed at 6:15 a.m. ET

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - Was William Shakespeare partial to a good deal more than a pinch of tobacco while composing his sonnets?

While there is no proof the bard delved into narcotics, clay pipe fragments excavated from his Stratford-upon-Avon home and of the 17th century period show conclusively that cocaine and myristic acid -- a hallucinogenic derived from plants, including nutmeg -- were smoked in Shakespeare's England.

The findings, published in the latest issue of the South African Journal of Science, also show hints of residues of cannabis or marijuana, but this has not been proven. Nicotine, unsurprisingly, was one of the compounds firmly identified.

``The cocaine was found in two of the 24 pipe fragments examined, which is really quite remarkable,'' Dr. Francis Thackeray, a paleontologist at the Transvaal Museum in Pretoria who co-write the article, told Reuters.

``The Spanish had access to it at that time in the Americas, but the fact that it was smoked in England at that time is a first. It is quite a find,'' said Thackeray, who is a distant relative of the famous 19th century English author.

``Cocaine was recorded in Europe about 200 years ago, but to our knowledge never this early,'' he said.

``...apparently no chemical analyzes have been undertaken to determine what substances other than tobacco may have been smoked in England during the 17th century,'' the article said.

It said cannabis sativa, the plant from which marijuana is derived, ``was certainly accessible in Elizabethan England for paper, rope, garments and sails.''

The fragments, which were lent to Thackeray by the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust, were examined with the help of Inspector Tommie van der Merwe of the South African Police Service's Forensic Science Laboratory.


Denis Dutton - Review Essay: What Are Editors For? (Review of: Marilyn Schwartz, Guidelines for Bias-Free Writing; Joanna Frueh, Erotic Faculties) - Philosophy and Literature 20:2

from Roy Bhaskar's Plato Etc: The Problems of Philosophy and Their Resolution (Verso):
"Indeed dialectical critical realism may be seen under the aspect of Foucauldian strategic reversal--of the unholy trinity of Parmenidean/Platonic/Aristotelean provenance; of the Cartesian-Lockean-Humean-Kantian paradigm, of foundationalisms (in practice, fideistic foundationalisms) and irrationalisms (in practice, capricious exercises of the will-to-power or some other ideologically and/or psycho-somatically buried source) new and old alike; of the primordial failing of western philosophy, ontological monovalence, and its close ally, the epistemic fallacy with its ontic dual; of the analytic problematic laid down by Plato, which Hegel served only to replicate in his actualist monovalent analytic reinstatement in transfigurative reconciling dialectical connection, while in his hubristic claims for absolute idealism he inaugurated the Comtean, Kierkegaardian and Nietzschean eclipses of reason, replicating the fundaments of positivism through its transmutation route to the superidealism of a Baudrillard. "

Or perhaps not.


Mutant Bacteria Next Threat From Russia's Mir

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Forget the danger of heavy-weight debris raining down from space when Russia sends the Mir orbiter to a watery grave this month -- the real threat could be mutant fungi, a researcher said Tuesday.

Yuri Karash, an expert on the Russian space program, said there was a possibility that micro-organisms, which have spent the last 15 years mutating in isolation aboard Mir, could present a threat if they survived the fall to Earth.

``I wouldn't overstate it ... but a realistic problem exists,'' Karash told a news conference.

Karash, who has undergone cosmonaut training and is an aerospace advisor, said his conclusions were based on research carried out by Russia's Institute of Medical and Biological Problems.

Researchers have said that the fungi could be especially virulent if mixed with earth varieties that attack metal, glass and plastic.

Western health officials have in the past expressed concerns about micro-organisms that could be brought back to earth after a Russian microbiologist 13 years ago discovered the first of many aggressive forms of fungi inhabiting Mir.

Russian space officials have played down the threat, but visitors to the orbiter have found numerous types of fungi behind control panels, in air-conditioning units and on dozens of other surfaces.

Though surprisingly destructive, they give off corrosive agents like acetic acid and release toxins into the air.


CBS to ``Bette'': Its a wrap

By Josef Adalian

HOLLYWOOD (Variety) - CBS has lost its ``Bette.''

The network pulled the plug on the struggling Bette Midler comedy Monday. The episode scheduled to air Wednesday night is expected to be the last original to be broadcast this season.


Doctor offering food for thought

Dr Taylor said the archaeological evidence - of human bones bearing the same signature cut marks as animals - proved that many societies, including our own, once ate each other. And cannibalism still continues today.

He said: "I think the fact that we live near supermarkets and are allowed to live a life of luxury makes us think that cannibalism is horrific.

"But it doesn't take much - a serious food shortage or a crisis - to bring the instinct to survive back to the surface.

"There have been a number of cases recently where people have been murdered in Russia and turned into their equivalent of ravioli.

Okay, no more pasta restaurants in Moscow! You gotta draw the line somewhere.

WHEN they met, she was a worldy 52 with her best movie years behind her.

He was half her age and a passionate collector of the actress's memorabilia.

In the 17 years since then, Michael Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor have been virtually inseparable friends.

He even hosted her ill-fated 1991 marriage to Larry Fortensky at his Neverland theme-park home in California.

But as this latest picture of Jackson shows, the man with the ever-changing face now seems almost to have transformed himself into his one-time idol.

So much so, he might be taken for a double of the star in her heyday. Is it, perhaps, some form of bizarre flattery from the eccentric singer?

Like hers, his black hair is wavy and shoulder length. Their noses are both narrow and straight.

Even his generous red lips and pasty white skin recall those of the former leading lady.

Whatever his appearance, at one time it would have raised the screams of thousands of adoring fans. Yesterday, among the few who bothered to turn up, it raised mainly eyebrows.

Dressed in a garish red silk suit and holding an umbrella against the winter sunlight, the singer took his first steps outside his London hotel - and left supporters deeply suspicious about the true extent of his injured right foot.

He reportedly fractured it days ago in a fall at his home. But waiting fans were stunned when, after dropping one of his crutches, he simply carried on walking. One onlooker said: 'He came out on both crutches but suddenly dropped one. However, he just seemed to walk on without a problem, albeit with a very slight limp. It was all rather strange.'

Jackson, 42, who is here to promote his charity Heal The Kids, said nothing as he was driven away to a lunch party in Knightsbridge, merely raising a finger of greeting to his pavement fan club.

Later, he made a five-minute appearance to support the launch of a book called Confessions of a Rabbi and a Psychic by his latest guru Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and his friend Uri Geller . Jackson - who was clutching a postcard in the shape of a baby given to him by a fan - is due to act as best man at the spoon-bender's wedding in Berkshire tomorrow.

'We are grateful just to have him' said Mr Geller. 'Tomorrow night he is giving a major address at Oxford. The whole world is anticipating his speech.' The singer's arrival, however, has prompted a mixed reaction.

Many argue that inviting the star, who has been dogged by accusations of child abuse in America, to speak at the Oxford Union is both embarrassing and insulting. More than 20,000 people have applied for tickets to hear tonight's address.

The singer is said to have asked for 50 police officers to be on hand. According to university sources, that is considerably more than when Bill Clinton spoke at the university last year.

Explaining the reason behind tonight's speech, Jackson said in a statement: 'Heal the Kids is about doing something; about making a difference and trying to help adults and parents realise that it is in our power to change the world that our children live in. 'Heal the Kids is also about giving people a voice, and it will act as an ambassador and a platform for initiatives aimed at benefiting children all over the world.'

In America, Jackson's Heal The Kids Foundation has been described as an image-building 'deception' by Santa Barbara district attorney Tom Sneddon, who prosecuted the singer for alleged child molestation in 1993. Jackson avoided trial by paying the family of his 13-year-old accuser around GBP 20million.

But Sneddon recently warned: 'The case can be opened at any time.'



Peter Pan's Home Page!                              
"First off, I'm 47, Divorced, and I live in Tampa Florida... just in case Tinkerbell? is trying to find me!?. As you can see from my photo, I'm making considerable effort and (hopefully!) having some success at staying young... maybe even childlike. So why "Peter Pan"? Although Peter pan is definitely a boy, to me this character is perfectly asexual, and in his eternal childhood rejects the idea of growing up and leaving this behind...."

We are worried, very worried, that this page will reflect poorly on Tinkerbell.


Yes, just when you thought it was safe to go out on the streets of New York, there's this just in from Hunter Thompson.

I mention this only because the Yankees are about to get a raucous new fan at the Stadium, and his name will be Roger Clinton, famous brother of incoming New York Mayor Bill Clinton, previously of Washington D.C. That is the best early bet on the Political horizon right now, for good or ill.

Clinton did not move to Harlem on some kind of Jazz-addled whim. No. He just counted the votes. The only thing that might stand in his way is that awkward little matter of Felony crime in Arkansas. Good luck. Clinton is already the Winter-book favorite to be the next Mayor of New York City.

For his odd comments about Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez is the winner of the inaugural Swine of the Week Award.Wow! The Big Apple press will love this one. It is like getting what you always wanted for Christmas -- a guaranteed Nasty headline every day of the week. It is a Gossip-monger's dream.


Nothing brings the pot and kettle of blather and spew more quickly to the froth point than chit-chat about race in America.

Witness the exchange below (three posts).

Washington Post Asks -- Racism? What Racism?

Politically Corrected (washingtonpost.com)



WHENEVER he flies, Prince demands to be treated like royalty. Or so claims a Northwest Airlines flight attendant who called a Minneapolis morning radio show to dish on the fuschia-loving funkster's behavior. "If he wants a cup of coffee, he whispers in his bodyguard's ear, and then they tell the attendant what he wants," she said. "Before Prince enters the plane, the staff are told that Prince is not to be talked to or looked at in the eye." She also claimed to have once seen Prince fly all the way to Europe with a towel over his head so no one could see his face.



Juan signed on, figuring he wasn't working anyway and it might be fun. He had no qualms about pornography, having grown up with "huge stacks of it" at home. "My parents were very visibly loving, PDA all the way," Juan remembers. "They would talk about having sex at the dinner table, and my sisters and I would be like, 'Mommy, what's back-door action?'" Porn tapes were mixed in with the Disney videos and when Juan was 9 he stumbled on a homemade tape of his parents going at it. He doesn't remember this as particularly traumatic: "I watched it and thought, 'Wow, I bet that's them making my sister!'"

From Juan in hell
A computer geek becomes the whipping boy for a gay S/M porn producer
By Virginia Vitzthum


In a Texas courtroom yesterday, Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith defended her claim to the fortune of her late husband, Howard Marshall II. The 33-year-old pinup admitted that she has pricey tastes (and needs), but said she married the octogenarian tycoon for love: ''It's very expensive to be me. It's terrible the things I have to do to be me ... They don't understand the age thing. They don't understand it's a love thing ... I never had the love this man gave me and I will never have it again.''


Yes, gone are those touchy feely days of Internet Spring
when management would feed your puppies to get you to come to work.

Here's the text of an email supposedly sent by some burned out manager at PSI.Net.

Apocryphal? Ah, yes. True? Probably not. But instructive of the secret thoughts of management.

-----Original Message-----
Subject: What is your major problem?
Importance: High

It is 10pm on Thursday and I have not received one single sales report.
Jim sent you an email today telling you I will not be lenient on this
matter. He was correct! This is completely unacceptable behavior!
This will not be tolerated! Moving forward miss getting me your report once,
you will be written up! Miss it twice, you go on plan, Third strike,

If you think I am going to fuck around with you anymore you are wrong! I
have to hire about 20 people, so 10 more does not make one fucking bit
of difference to me. How could any of you do sales reports, when only 2 of
you showed up for work today! I AM CHECKING THE SECURITY LOGS EVERYDAY!!!!!

I told you this, ARE YOU STUPID? I have had this same conversation with
all of you so many times, I can hardly keep track.

From now on everyone of you will be in the office no later then 8am
EVERY FUCKING DAY! If you are five minutes late you will be written up,
3 strikes and you are out!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF?????

I have told you this time and time again, that I do not have the time
to do this and you keep doing the exact same thing. If you can not police
yourselves, then I will do it for you! Are you incapable of changing?
If so, I will be excepting resignations all day tomorrow!

Almost everyone of you made well over $100,000 last year and
apparently it is too much for me to ask that you show up to the office
and do the job you are getting paid for!

If you want to work your own hours, we can put you on 100% commission
and then you can come and go as you please. Any takers? Of course not,
because with your pathetic work effort you would starve! I realize that few
people are making quota, but at least they show up for work and try to sell

Why do I not have this problem in the OC office? Maybe I closed the wrong office?
Apparently you do not take my threats seriously, so it is time to start making
examples of people!

I have always told you I do not care what you do if you are at quota. I
CARE WHERE YOU ARE NOW! This is NOT the way to start off the new year!

Every Monday (starting 2/26) we will be having mandatory meetings at 7
am (don't be late). I will make it 1/2 hour earlier every Monday that some
one is late. This will remain in effect until the work ethic changes (if it
ever does). For those of you that work hard (it is only a few), you have your
teammates to blame and maybe this will make you start policing each
other (time for a blanket party).

I am going to hire the biggest ball buster I can find as a Sales Manager
now for LA! I am only going to hire Account Managers for the people that
show me that they are willing to work and that they want this job!

You will either do the job we are paying you for or
your replacements will! EVERYONE will be required to notify me of every
appointment you have (company name, time and address) and if I do not
have you scheduled for an appointment you will be required to be in the
office. I am going to start randomly picking people to spend the day with.
LIE TO ME JUST ONE TIME!!!! I Fucking dare you! It is time to either put
your chips in the game or fold AND GET THE FUCK OUT!

I would like to point out a paragraph that is in all of your offer
letters, "With or With Out Cause"!!!! Read it and understand it!

"Finally, it is important to understand that your employment with
PSINet is not for any specific length of time. You, or the Company, may
end the employment relationship at will, with or without cause, at any time.
It is also important to understand that the information contained in this
letter does not constitute a contract of employment. It does, however,
supersede any other written and/or verbal representations made by any
representative of the Company relative to your employment with PSINet.
In addition, this offer is contingent upon completion of satisfactory
reference checks."

Don't take my word for it but play around with the hearts on ACME.COM.

ACME Heart Maker

from FEED | Digital Culture - Pirate Utopia

Pirate Utopia

What does Osama bin Laden's Web porn infiltration have to do with Napster's fight for life? Feed's Julian Dibbell connects the microdots.

TWO WEEKS AGO USA Today broke the shocking news that Osama bin Laden's terrorist organization has infiltrated the world's supply of Web porn, hiding messages for its global operatives deep within the digits of pictures posted on Godless Western triple-X sites. For historically minded readers, the article afforded a moment of wonder at the depths of the national-security establishment's Cold War nostalgia and the media's willingness to indulge it. There, once again, was the old familiar intimacy of the alleged subversion, the thrilling suggestion that the enemy might lurk among us everywhere, sneaking into our bedrooms and our cubicles under cover of cultural trash. "You very well could have a photograph and image with the time and information of an attack sitting on your computer, and you would never know it," one cyberwar expert told USA Today's reporter.

I confess, though, that I got a bit nostalgic myself when I read the story. Not for the Cold War -- I was born too late to enjoy it in the fullness of its Eisenhowerian heyday -- but for its Bush-era aftermath. Specifically, I found myself looking back with melancholy fondness upon the summer of 1992, a moment perhaps not equal to the summer of '67 in its hold on the memories of a generation but one which for me, at least, holds much the same sense of freedom and promise in the bubble of its recollection. It was a moment, after all, when radical political thought was just beginning to adjust to the reality of '89, just rising to the challenge of imagining the possibilities that that reality implied. It was a moment, as well, when the Internet, long a distant, reverie-inspiring rumor known firsthand only to military contractors and computer-science majors, was just starting to enter the lives of the rest of us. But most importantly, perhaps, and certainly not at all coincidentally, it was the moment when I first learned it was possible to do with digital communications what Osama bin Laden is now reported to have done.

A ROSIE IN ANY OTHER JOB --or-- Celebrity Bosses from the Fat Farm

Rosie O'Donnell is wasting no time making herself felt in the offices of what
used to be McCall's magazine. Now that the mag is named after her, the
talk-show queen has called for more televisions! The comic has installed some
monster sets, which are on all day. And guess which show nobody misses?
"People are not required to watch her show," a mag spokeswoman emphasizes.
"But they do turn it on. The TVs are not meant to be intrusive but to help
staff internalize the essence of Rosie. Obviously a lot of what's on her show
will be reflected in the magazine. It's an effort to get know the real Rosie."

We once knew the "real Rosie." But we had to roll her in flour to find the wet spot.

TWILIGHT OF A PORNOGRAPHER -or - Worst Home Decorating Idea of the 21st Century So Far

HEADLINE: Screwed;
Aging porn publisher Al Goldstein ponders a run for sheriff, bordellos, and
his dwindling obscenity empire

BYLINE: Bob Whitby


Al Goldstein's 10,000-square-foot Pompano Beach home holds many wonderful
things: probably the largest collection of pre-Castro Cuban cigars in the
country, a media room lit by the glow of four TVs stacked atop one another
and tuned to different channels, a collection of nine-foot-tall decorative
robots, an Olympic-size swimming pool... But nothing tops the blowjob room.
To get there you part a curtain of thin plastic strips hanging from a door
frame, then climb two steep flights of unfinished plywood stairs to a
platform just big enough for the double bed it holds. At the head of the bed
is a two-by-four-foot sculpture fashioned from copper tubing. In one corner
of the ceiling hangs a plastic, bloodshot eyeball the size of a basketball.
Next to that are five large masks dangling vertically on a gold chain. In
another corner is a neon "Bates Motel" sign, and directly over the bed is a
stuffed duck. The whole place is painted blood red and accented with slashes
of yellow that resemble lightning.

In the Category of "Oh, Shut up and Cash Your Checks!"


Candace Bushnell, the author whose book inspired HBO's Sex and the City, says she's ''shocked by how much sex they put in it,'' reports MSNBC. Bushnell tells the Irish Times that she doesn't like the series, now written by ''two
gay guys and two really unglamorous women.'' Bushnell says Kim Catrall's highly sexualized character, Samantha, ''is more like a gay man than a woman. Look at her obsession with male body parts. Women just aren't like that."


On Dave Eggers Windbreaking Work of Staggering Idiocy

With all due respect to Andrew Ross, he's got it backwards on the Eggers' story.

Rather than revealing (as is so easy to do) the awfulness of the Times and the writers that do their evil bidding, Eggers' open and endless email stack reveals what a preening and pedantic little pissant he's evolved into in his "Year of the Living Lit'rary Wunderkind."

Breathes there a person who has been subject of a profile that has ever felt the writer got it right? Never happens. There are *always* problems with people. "Not quoted right!" "That stuff was off the record!" "I can't believe I forgot I was talking to a *newspaper*."

Every writer knows that the subject will think he got it wrong and start to whine. The only solution is to let the subject have the story and give in to their every rewrite. And even then, odds are that it will be *wrong.* If Eggers is as sophisticated as his pose, he knows this. Will the Times *get*it*wrong* from the subject's point of view? YES! Every time! And yet sooner or later they will be back for more. Usually when their fast fame is at a lower ebb and their "plenty of money" is running low.

What really galls me about the Times is that they were so ready to assume the position for Eggers as much as they did. Especially to accommodate his [location deleted] vacation at the other side of the world, and the kid needed to sleep, awww! Bad form on their side to be this coddling, but I guess they were too deep into the Suckupathon to quit. Spiking would have been too good for him.

The McSweeney's Bit was cute when it first came along (count me as another life member -- but so far the copies have been showing up, even though I never got the promised 'special gift'), but it is getting less cute with every passing day. And this little snit takes the cake for now.

I was willing to give Eggers the benefit of the doubt after his sister outed him as a prig in Harpers last year, but now I shall revise my opinion. Ditto about that box with the stupid bird on it. Face it, we just have that kind of stuff around our offices to impress the groundlings. Nobody really reads it after the first try.

Prediction 1: Eggers may soon wake up and see that his email play is not exactly the smooth move and take it down. Make your copies now! (On the other hand, the whole incident reveals that he's probably beyond such feats of self-examination.

Prediction 2: This endless bit of email exhibitionism by Eggers will mark the moment his Sputnik began to slip off the radar screen as the NYC literary cabbage patch doll of the moment.

Note to aspiring young literary things: The wunderkind position is open again. Gentlemen, start your websites!